By ML Gainer

Branded ideas of what it means to be a beautiful person have always depended on the minds of a few people in fashion marketing. As a young adult, I was told that "my look was not in" when I was training to become a model. The way that I looked and dressed, strangers would come up to me and ask if I was a model. People constantly told me I should go to London to be a United Colors of Benetton model because they're into diversity, or New York or Miami. So I had more of a chance to be seen as beautiful there but not here, based on what a different market craves as desirable or as pushed and favored by marketing.

It's a funny thing to be here, where my look isn't "in" and has never quite been the look for representation, and at the same time, it becomes a barrier to people accepting the core of who I am. So I dressed down and casually unremarkable, and yet the paradox remains, as if to receive society's message that not anyone should be prettier than their deemed role in that society. For models giving the masses the appearance of what beauty is, they can have the opposite fate of influence: too many uncouth gawkers, fan idolatry, and superficial friends.

Why is beauty made to inhabit a tangible form while remaining so elusive, obsessive, and exclusionary? This is not simply a matter of building confidence or self-esteem when one’s personality and conduct are emulated en masse, despite external perceptions, but a failure to cope with belonging. Many attempts have been made to address this gap by glamour industry legends, in front of the camera and behind it, for appreciating unusual beauty.

I dressed down because of wanting my personality to shine through, free from association with other identities. What I observe is that the world will ultimately see beauty where it wants to because at the same time, the world is full of wondrous beauty in many accessible, subtle, and amorphous forms. There is no point in trying to hide yourself, as a reckoning will inevitably come. Cultivating inner radiance that can never be dimmed is like an antioxidant to aging and stress. Nonetheless, we sit for hours to get our hair and nails done, but view inner work in meditation or other rituals as a time management issue or other focus challenges. Even though the physiological impact of stress has been proven, alongside food nutrient deficiencies, to affect the fogginess of our mental and energetic capacities - the default is to be what dictates survival. Survival often means protective individualism with narrow margins of vision. But it can be beautifully spacious, blissful, and a trailblazer of possibilities.

Ever wonder why when tracing success stories, an important question often asked of an executive is what keeps them up at night about the future state of growth and prosperity for the business? Their leadership is at stake, and so they may work with an executive coach to polish their decision-making skills in real time. A personal red carpet is laid out for them to walk in celebration! So too should it be an imperative to examine what keeps the everyday person and worker up at night and to partner with an integration life coach to help problem-solve practical, life-impacting dilemmas. Prosperity and growth are at stake, so why not lay out the red carpet for the whole inner person to walk on in triumphant, luminous beauty as freedom.

Cover Photo: "The Three Graces", by Photographer & Director: Iris Brosch @irisbrosch @irisbrosch_art